onthegrass.org

Had a thought, but think I forgot it..

A while ago I was driving home from wrk, feeling displaced.
Like I woke up in the wrong dimension or reality or me.
I had a strange notion that if I stayed still and let my eyes slip out of focus, that I could dissolve.
fade, melt, whatever but I would somehow return to a state of absolute me, the original, the ultimate me.
Then I started thinking, maybe I shouldn't try to dissolve here in the middle of traffic.
Bella would be stuck alone with the crazies.
Then I started thinking about how sometimes I get the feeling of movement while I'm sitting still
(if anyone knows the medical term, lemme know),
then I noticed that traffic was moving again and the whole dissolving notion dissolved.
I had completely forgotten this until I read Stacey's "pills thrills and bellyaches" post, "and the temptation is there to just make everything all float away".
I often forget how far away I can go in 30 seconds, and how it can all be brought back in that contact-high kinda way by someone else's wrdz weeks after the fact.